Mmmmm...Shirtless Boys!

So, a new semester always means new friends, new men, and new adventures! And last night I had one of the most exciting adventures of my life!!! Remember the jerks that ate my goldfish? Well I was over in their apartment the other night and we were bored. We had just finished watching a movie, and were desperately trying to find something to do with our lives. I've already stated that these boys are not the sharpest cookies in the lamp, but sometimes they surpass dumb and go straight to  idiocy. Here's how the discussion went;


"Dude...I'm so bored"
"Dude.....Let's do something crazy!"
"....we could go jump in the dam up the canyon"
"Dude, that water's got to be so cold!...LET'S DO IT"


And obviously I had no choice. Six mainly attractive men that would soon be shirtless-I just had to go too, that's what college is all about! So I scampered home, changed into my very-cute-but-not-too-slutty swimsuit and braced myself for the "Polar Plunge"


Once we arrived at the Dam that we would be jumping into, I got cold feet. (Hee-hee punny right?) There was snow on the ground. And ice chunks in the water, and we were going to be leaping off a bridge into frigid black death. The men, no doubt trying to seem macho and tough in front of a super-mega-foxy-awesome-hot college babe like me, all jumped fearlessly into the water, where they were diminished into screeching, shrieking ninnies. I was left by myself, on a bridge, eight feet above the coldest, blackest water in the world. After much coercion, and many promises that if I started drowning, they would save me, I finally jumped off the bridge into the frozen void. 


If you've never jumped into a freezing lake in the middle of January, or been stranded in a blizzard on the planet Hoth, you have no idea how cold I was once I hit the water. I felt like every inch of me was being stabbed, squeezed, and smacked simultaneously. I couldn't even scream I was so cold, all I could do was frantically thrash my way to the shore and let the men pull me up. I guess I looked pretty frozen because immediately the most attractive of the men, Jason, wrapped a towel around my shoulders and hugged me until I stopped shaking.


If you have never been warmed by the bare chest of a sexy man, you are seriously missing out. It is one of the most blissful experiences you can have. I suggest that you immediately find a man, rip his shirt off and snuggle on up. It can help cure cancer, and make you feel all snuggly warm inside!


Ambrosially Yours,

paprika