Date Nite...

So, just got back from my first date with Hot Brother!


WOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!


...right?


Oh Hot Brother... Why do you have to be so hot? Why do you have to be so hot, so smooth, and such a player? Why must you test drive women like cars? 


Oh Saffron... WHY ARE YOU SO FOOLISH? Why do you insist on ignoring your better judgement when it comes to men? Why do you have to be so attractive, but apparently only to men who you would rather not be attracted to you?


OK, I'm making it sound a lot worse than it is. In all reality, it was a really great date. First he took me to an art exhibit, which was tons of fun. I love art. Then we went to a cute little fifties-looking ice cream shop soda fountain type deal which was also tons of fun AND I got pistachio ice cream (a.k.a. "nectar of the gods") out of it. Then I decided to show him an awesome park where you can go right to the edge and look out over the whole city. That park has the most beautiful view, especially at night when the city is all lit up and sparkly. Most romantic thing ever and he didn't even try to kiss me. But here's why...


Since we last spoke, Mr. Ex and I had a horrible, awful falling out that resulted in me realizing just how much denial I was in and left me once again repeatedly facepalming at the thought of my own stupidity. But along comes Hot Brother, and hot and sensitive. Well, sensitive-ish. It's the kind of sensitive that makes you think, "Aww, you're just like something out of a Lifetime Original Movie..." The kind of sensitive that says things like, "You're always welcome in these arms." Wow, very convincing, Hot Brother. As if I can't see right through your act. That's right, folks. He's one of Those Guys. Spies a fair maiden, a damsel in distress... Throws on his shining armor, leaps to the rescue. Ah, grateful maiden swoons over his hotness and they kiss dramatically. Happy ever after. Well, unless for some reason the grateful maiden for some reason finds it necessary to pause in the middle of their dramatic kiss to ask just how many fair maidens the aforementioned knight had kissed in the last, say, month since he got back from his crusade. And the handsome knight replies with a very romantic and reassuring statement of, "Well... er... uh... um... Three. Four, including yourself. Ahem."


REALLY, HOT KNIGHT?! REALLY?! I suppose you can just add another notch on the bejeweled hilt of your enchanted sword and write me off, eh? Well I've got news for you, pal! I'm no damsel in distress, no sir! I'm a distressing damsel! (Hot Brother's words, actually. Hee hee. I mean, uh, grrrr.) 


Anyways, so the fair maiden gave the hot knight a stern lecture and told him he went about it the proper way or no way at all, so he took her out on a proper date and didn't kiss her on the first date, even though he wanted to and she kinda wanted him to but NOT REALLY. Um. Curses. 


Moral of the story: We need more dragons in these parts. Without natural predators, gallant knights will overpopulate the land and upset the balance of nature. There aren't enough fair maidens in the world if each gallant knight needs FOUR. 


--Saffron