Undesirably Desirable

Remember how I just got dumped like moldy flat cakes by my ex boyfriend? Well guess what! I met this guy yesterday, and NOW WE'RE ENGAGED!!!!!!! I'd post pictures of the ring but that'd ruin this whole anonymity thing.

Just kidding, you should have seen your face, you totes believed me, didn't you? Hah hah... Joke's on you. Wait no. It's on me. It's got to be.

What is it about college guys? Or really any guys in general? Because it's like the second stupid Tim face dumped me, I'm getting a bit swamped. 

Don't get me wrong, I'm a sucker for attention but...

It still stings guys! I really really genuinely liked Tim. We broke up like... only a week ago, a week and a half whatever. And it's hard not being with him and to feel so messed up. I feel so humiliated... this wasn't what was supposed to happen. It's hard to listen to songs now, because those songs were about him and I. And now only all the sad songs are about him and I... and sad songs bring me down. 

The point is, I went from being completely sure of this guy to nothing. I miss my best friend. I know things won't go back to how they were, and even though I know that the relationship was bad for me (remember that whole trashing Cori thing? Yeah...) I still miss my Tim. Well, not my Tim anymore.

Sorry about this whole depressing everything... but....

Now guys are twisted around all of my fingers! How did that happen?! It seems like some sort of warning sign has been lifted and there's all these eligible young men out there!

Examples include:

Jared, my home teacher. He's always been a bit flirtsy for a home teacher, but apparently now he has full license to get a ring on me like NOW!

Matt, that guy in one of my classes. We'd talked a little, and the semester ended, so game over, right? Just kidding! Wrong! The game has just begun.

Preston, read above. He's exactly like Matt except hotter.

Jason, the childhood lover. He's been on the sidelines my entire life, seeing as how we went to school together. He's not going to College State Uni., but some how he's found a way to make sure he's very much a part of my life, even if I don't want him to be. That whole "He's just like a brother to me", it's real, and attempted relationships in our past have been messy and weird. For me at least... he just doesn't see it yet. I have faith that he will some day.

I like guys, remember? I'm boy crazy.... but do you know what I mean when I say that I don't care about any of them right now?  I care for them, but though boys are my favorite food... I guess I'm just not hungry.

Has this ever happened to any of you? When does it get better? This kinda sucks. I want to be 'ready'....

Grateful that school is starting back up. I've missed Rikki and Saffron, we've been home for the holidays in our separate homes. Good to see family! Sad not to be with your Bee eff eff-eff-effs. Or however many it is. Shout out to you two! Yoo hoo!


Anyways... do you have any advice? Mmm thanks!



--Coriander