The last time I talked to you guys, I told you all about jumping into a freezing lake with a bunch of hot men. Well, all those hot men left on religious missions and us College Babes had to find completely new men to hang out with. Over the last few years we have hung out with a lot of men, and there have been a few memorable ones.
There was Freakishly Tall Man that I met at work and took me mini golfing. I know I'm short but no lie, I came up to this guys hips. I hugged him at the end of the date and bruised my cheek on his belt buckle.
There was The No-Fade Freshman; we went on two or three dates last year, and I thought he was nice but I wasn't feeling the love so when the semester ended I tried to do the "fade out". This boy was texting me twice a day, calling me once a week, and after the whole summer of me not ever replying, he told me that he thought we'd had something real, and special, and he couldn't understand what he'd done wrong. He told me that if what we'd had meant anything to me at all, I would come to his mission farewell and apologize.
The WoMan, I met at a dance and after getting to know him a little better, decided he would get along well with my fellow College Babe Saffron. After introducing the two of them, and realizing that it would not work out, this boy spent days moping to me over text. This man was whining worse than a PMSing thirteen year old, and drove me freaking nuts. I tried to be nice to him, and assure him that he was a very nice, upstanding gentleman, and that some day a wonderful girl would see that and become his own smitten kitten. He took this to mean that I was in love with him, and when I told him I wasn't- he cried. Like, real live tears. It was awful, but also hilarious in retrospect. Like watching Kim Kardashian cry.
Currently, I've got me a few prospects that look pretty promising, but I'll tell you about them later. They're really good stories and I want to do them justice. I do want to say though, that while over the last couple years my dating record has been pretty pitiful- my life has been awesome. I think a lot of girls our age think that they are worthless, or there's something wrong with them if they aren't dating anyone. I've been there girls, I know how you feel, but you girls are amazing. You are literally in the prime of your life, and you have so many opportunities in front of you! Take this time to discover who you really are, and what you really want out of your life. I know from my own life, the more that you know and love yourself, the more that others, including the hot men, will love you too. I've been single for a long time, and I don't regret a single second of it. It has made me who I am. Embrace it girls, and become who you are meant to be.
Ambrosially yours,
Paprika
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