Mr. Quick

I broke up with Mr. Horrible, and suddenly it was like I had a sign on my back that said "This babe is a babe! Date her!"

Seriously. Boys started texting me and messaging before I even changed the relationship status on facebook. I hid the relationship status for a long time so we could figure things out, and it's like EVERYONE NOTICED. They didn't say anything... but boys started talking to me a lot.

Mr. Quick was the first one. It started out with "How do you know so-and-so?" And ended with "You're really cool, what's your number?"

He asked me out for the next week. We went to get shakes and talked. We talked and talked. A whole lot. Date started at... 8pm... ended at like.... 12:30pm. It was nice to talk and get out and meet new people. The only problem was, this wasn't really a new person, this was a guy I went to elementary school with, then he moved, then we went to high school together. Only he was a senior when I was a freshy. That's not a big deal when you're in college, a 4 year age difference... but it's a big deal when you're in high school. And then you grow up and you still feel really young in comparison.

He took me home, and asked me out again. The next date, I don't even remember what we did. But he said something about "So for Halloween, I was wanting to be ____, wouldn't it be funny if you were ____?" 

And I started feeling awkward, because it was the second date.... and also, I was only home for the summer. I'd be going to school in a few weeks, and he'd be going to a different school... and we'd be 2 hours apart. This was absolutely a fling in my mind, what was it in his?

The next date, we bought a fish. My fish. His name is Corrihor. A lovely beta. Well... I had fun playing games with his family, we went outside and talked.... I had fun being with him. But I noticed when I wasn't with him, I didn't really care. I actually really liked not being with him. When I was away.... and we had a date coming up... I'd dread it. I'd have a good time on the date... but I always dreaded spending time with him. I can't be with someone I dread spending time with!

So I decided that was our last date. 

BUT WAIT. There's MORE. He kept asking me out, and I was bad at saying no, so I would just say "Oh sure!" And then the day of the date, something OF COURSE would come up... sorry... can't go tonight.... my mom... choked.... on.... grape juice.... I had a tanning accident.... stuff.... sorry.... 

Meanwhile, I dated Mr. Tall, and started dating Mr. Everything. 

Well I broke up with Mr. Tall. (Kinda. Another story for another time.) And Mr. Everything and I started to become exclusive. I'd post pictures of us on facebook, I'd talk about him all the time.... I'd even mention him to Mr. Quick. But still he was asking me out. 

He'd text me SO MUCH. Then he'd text me and say "Lol sorry for texting so much!" And then text me way more. 

Then one day he asked me to a drive in, because he was moving the next day, and I said "Oh I'm feeling sick..." And he texted me and said that he was sorry if he was reading it wrong, but he liked me a lot, but it seemed like I was spending time with someone else, and he was really invested in our relationship, but he didn't know if I was as into it as he was, and he was sorry if he was reading it wrong and was sorry if I really DID like him the best and wanted to marry him, and it was all a misunderstanding, but he wanted to know.

So I said that just yeah.... I was dating someone else and I wanted to see where that'd go. The funny thing is that Mr. Everything does live an hour away.... and I knew him for shorter time than Mr. Quick. But he's MR. EVERYTHING. 

A few months later I was at a football game, engaging in witty banter with an unknown number from the opposing team. I call people darling and sweetie pie all the time. Complete strangers and everything. Eventually they called me "babe" back and I felt weird. So I asked who it was. And it was Mr. Quick. Awkward. 

Well that's the story of Mr. Quick. He was the first date after my break up. Stay tuned for stories of Mr. Tall.

--Coriander 

Silly Boys

Hey y'all, it's Rikki here, and I am so excited to be telling you all about my life again! I've missed you guys, and I hope you forgive us crazy college babes for slacking off for so long. 

The last time I talked to you guys, I told you all about jumping into a freezing lake with a bunch of hot men. Well, all those hot men left on religious missions and us College Babes had to find completely new men to hang out with. Over the last few years we have hung out with a lot of men, and there have been a few memorable ones.

There was Freakishly Tall Man that I met at work and took me mini golfing. I know I'm short but no lie, I came up to this guys hips. I hugged him at the end of the date and bruised my cheek on his belt buckle. 

There was The No-Fade Freshman; we went on two or three dates last year, and I thought he was nice but I wasn't feeling the love so when the semester ended I tried to do the "fade out". This boy was texting me twice a day, calling me once a week, and after the whole summer of me not ever replying, he told me that he thought we'd had something real, and special, and he couldn't understand what he'd done wrong. He told me that if what we'd had meant anything to me at all, I would come to his mission farewell and apologize. 

The WoMan, I met at a dance and after getting to know him a little better, decided he would get along well with my fellow College Babe Saffron. After introducing the two of them, and realizing that it would not work out, this boy spent days moping to me over text. This man was whining worse than a PMSing thirteen year old, and drove me freaking nuts. I tried to be nice to him, and assure him that he was a very nice, upstanding gentleman, and that some day a wonderful girl would see that and become his own smitten kitten. He took this to mean that I was in love with him, and when I told him I wasn't- he cried. Like, real live tears. It was awful, but also hilarious in retrospect. Like watching Kim Kardashian cry.

Currently, I've got me a few prospects that look pretty promising, but I'll tell you about them later. They're really good stories and I want to do them justice. I do want to say though, that while over the last couple years my dating record has been pretty pitiful- my life has been awesome. I think a lot of girls our age think that they are worthless, or there's something wrong with them if they aren't dating anyone. I've been there girls, I know how you feel, but you girls are amazing. You are literally in the prime of your life, and you have so many opportunities in front of you! Take this time to discover who you really are, and what you really want out of your life. I know from my own life, the more that you know and love yourself, the more that others, including the hot men, will love you too. I've been single for a long time, and I don't regret a single second of it. It has made me who I am. Embrace it girls, and become who you are meant to be. 

Ambrosially yours,

Paprika

Don't Blink, You'll Miss It.

Oh hello there 2012. It's been...

Quite some time. Quite some time. About a year and a half. Quite some time indeed.

Coriander! Where have you been! Well. Let me tell you. The condensed version. Ready.... go.

I met a guy I sent him on a mission I waited for him on a mission I moved home with my parents to a different school for a semester he came home from his mission we dated we got engaged we stayed engaged for a few months he ran off to the military our relationship was crap he treated me like crap I felt like crap and life was crap and so I ended our engagement and sent the ring back to him and I cried and I cried and I cried for a long time I cried even when I dated him for months I knew we were going to break up and I didn't have to guts to do it until he came back his name is mr horrible not to be confused with the awesome dr horrible and I cried and started dating again and dated mr quick and then dated mr tall and neither of them were right and I'll talk about them later because they're funny stories but it wasn't right and I decided that love for me wasn't right and that I went through a failed engagement and no one would love me and I wouldn't find that connection with anyone else which is crap because he treated me like crap and I felt like crap but he knew me and I knew him and I didn't think I'd find that again and love didn't exist and blah blah blah blah... then my dad said "Hey Coriander I know a guy you should look him up" and I said ok and I did then he asked me on a date then another date then another date and his name is mr everything and we dated lots and I moved out of my parents house and back to my favorite school, college state university, again, and now I'm here and he's at a different school but we still date and we date a lot and he is my everything and more he is mr everything and I can't imagine life without him.

The end.

Coriander