Friday, April 8, 2011

Bus-Induced Anarchy

Anyone who has ever spent over 24 hours on a bus will understand that, after a short while, all laws of society and morality fade away, leaving complete and total anarchy. It's like a tiny, mobile, separate universe. A tiny universe where anything can happen...


But let me back up a little bit.


Hot Brother. Remember him? The gallant knight? Well, this gallant knight took me on the most romatic moonlight-cocoa-picnic ever on the night of Valentine's and told me he wanted to be with me. Great, right? Then he told me that he had promised one of his other consorts a date that Friday, but after that we could be together. So I accepted, and Friday night came and went. Saturday morning, he called and said he changed his mind, he was going to be with this consort. That relationship lasted about two weeks before exploding in his face, and then he had the gall to come crawling back to me. Yeah, nice try, Hot Brother.


So now, here I am on a bus on the way across the country for a wind ensemble tour. This bus, which seats 56 people, contains exactly 56 people, so you can imagine it was quite intimate. Some of those 56 people included: myself, Hot Brother, Former Consort, Mr. Ex, and Hot Brother's... uhh... Cute Brother. So here I am, surrounded by all these characters in the lame movie of my life, confined to the tiny universe for about 26 hours straight. The bus ride started like this...


(woogy flashback effect)


Preparing emotionally for this bus ride was an ordeal, and I had been discussing with Cori and Rikki how lame it was that I didn't have anyone to cuddle with on the bus. So when the bus ride started out, I compensated by laying across the laps of BOTH brothers. Which was pretty hilarious, because both brothers started creepin'. Then, since I had been sleep deprived for days, I passed out, and when I woke up, apparently Hot (and Retarded) Brother had decided he wanted me all to himself so he made Cute Brother move. So I got mad at Hot Brother and told him not to touch, me, so he moved to the window seat and sulked for the rest of the remaining 20 hours. By this point, Cute Brother was unconscious, so I started talking to my girl friend behind him for a while. Then, randomly, Cute Brother goes, "Mmmmmmm... Hey." Stretches, runs his hand down my arm and takes my hand. And held my hand for like an hour. I texted him later (because Mr. Ex was trying to sleep behind me and had already told us to shut up) and asked if he realized he had been holding my hand. The conversation went something like this:


Me: Did you realize you were holding my hand for like an hour?
Him: Haha, yeah, but I have no recollection of how that happened...
Me: Well, you know, band bus, sleep deprivation...
Him: Can I be totally honest with you?
Me: Of course.
Him: I don't really have feelings for you like that, you're more like my sister. I guess I'm just starved for romance right now.
Me: Yeah, that's understandable. (he's going on a mission in less than a month)
Him: Haha, I'd kiss you right now if I weren't concerned about the guilt.
Me: Band buses will do that to you...
Him: Haha, yeeeeeah...
(ten minutes)
Him: So, aren't you going to lean in and kiss me?
Me: You brought it up!
So then he leaned in and kissed me. You know how in movies it's like the camera spins around and dramatic music plays and there are fireworks and birds and flowers blooming? This kiss was not like that at all. Both of us responded with, "Eh, yeah, nope. No. That's not really... yeah, no."

And then I got back with Mr. Ex.

And then three days after we got home, Mr. Ex re-dumped me.

And we all lived lame-ly ever after.

The end.

--Saffron

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